


Christian Sonic meme starring Big the Cat

by Pound237



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Based on a joke from a friend, Christianity, Meme, Shadow is just mentioned, Sketchy adverts, There's a tiny bit of a hentai script but it's SFW with just a suggestion of somewhat sexual content, don't take this seriously, ironic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25751338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pound237/pseuds/Pound237
Summary: It's Sunday. What would usually be a fun day out in Station Square, that starts with going to Church, ends up ruined by a nasty cold. While Sonic and Amy go to Church, Big is left alone and accidentally sees something truly sinful...
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	1. Big's Big problem

Big found himself held up in his jungle home, sitting in its darkest corner, with a computer screen illuminating his tired features. He was supposed to be going to Church with Sonic and Amy but he found himself to be too ill to receive the teaching of Christ that Sunday. His boredom had led him to go online, searching for cold remedies. That is when it started to spiral out of control...

He was already twenty pages into Ask Jeeves and, unknowing to Big, he was on a sketchy website. The advice itself, while bad, was quite harmless. The real terror came from the adverts.

Much like the website itself, it started innocently, "you NEED to put a banana under your pillow tonight, what you find WILL surprise you..."  
"Oooh!" Big started, in an exited tone. "I loooove surprises! Especially surprise cake!" He said as he clicked on the advert, his previous tiredness gone alongside his concerns of illness.

Big continued down the rabbit hole of the clickbait articles and adverts. "Dermatologists HATE her. Find out her secret!"  
"Secret? I wanna know!" He exclaimed, clicking on the ad hurriedly.  
"Finally, a cure for Neuro-Immune Deficiency Syndrome, AND it's easy to do!"  
"Hey... I think Shadow knows someone with that... I better read it and tell him."

Before long, he stumbled across something truly sinful...  
"Hot chicks in your area! Sign up now!"  
"...Hot chicks in my area? But I haven't heard any birds all day..."Big stated aloud no no-one in particular. "...The woman in the picture doesn't even look like a bird either. I gotta find out what's going on..."

He then clicked on the sinful display...

Big was never the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so stupid. And yes, I know Big's house is not like that, it's just easier this way alright? Also don't ask me why Big knows Shadow and Maria.


	2. Big's Big addiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anticlimactic conclusion nobody wanted.

Amy and Sonic had just received their weekly teachings of Christ and were taking a stroll through Station Square, with no particular destination in mind, they passed by a fishing shop and that's when Amy remembered something important.  
"Hey!" Amy started. "Shouldn't we check in on Big? I'm sure he'd appreciate us dropping by!"  
"You know what... that's a great idea, we can see if he'd be up for next Sunday." Sonic agreed slowly.

After that they took the train to Mystic Ruins and walked over towards Big's jungle home. Usually they would expect Big to be out of his house, but today was different, as they both knew, Sonic sauntered up to the hut and knocked.  
"Hey Big! We're baaaaaack!" Amy exclaimed through the door frame.  
No response.

"You feelin' good? Nothing crazy happened while we were gone?" Sonic apprehensively questioned.

No response.

Amy and Sonic looked at each other and wordlessly decided to go in. There was no life in the front room however, there was a faint electronic glow shining through the door frame to the back room and a strange high pitched noise coming through quietly...

"Ah-aahhhhh I-I don't think we sh-should do this." A female voice sputtered.  
"You love me don't you?" A harsher voice rang out.  
"W-well I do, but n-not HERE."  
"So you... don't want THIS!?" The male voice shouted, with a distinct sound of clothes moving.  
*Gasp!* "Big brother! I didn't know you had such a big c-"

"All right I've had enough of this." Amy mumbled before opening the door to find Big sitting behind his laptop, seemingly enchanted by the screen. Although, that was until Amy and Sonic walked in and, Amy swears, that's the fastest she's ever seen Big move.

"A-ah what are you two doing h-here?" Big sounded like a child who was caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Sonic walked forwards.  
"Big... what were you watching?"  
"Uhh it was... err..."  
"Look Big. We know what it was. Don't play stupid with us."  
"Woooow look at the time... I gotta uh... find froggy!" At this Big ran out and left Sonic and Amy alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes it took 2 months to write chapter 2. Yes it was "rushed" at the end because I couldn't think of a good conclusion to Amy and Sonic finding Big watching hentai. Yes I kind of want to make a third chapter, no promises this time.


End file.
